Saturday, June 28, 2003
07:42 p.m.
the sun goes down...i feel the light betray me..

its like im paranoid lookin over my back..
its like a whirlwind inside of my head..
its like i cant stop what im hearin within..

Sunday, June 22, 2003
12:48 a.m.
i just want someone to make me laugh..
just want someone to tell me that everythings goina be alright...
want someone to tell me what to do...
just want to hear someone...

comfort me wont you...
by what means am i sposed to sleep now?...
has anything changed that i feel less worried or less afraid?...
through what have i been made happier n feel at ease?...
where can i find my reassurance and solace...
what can i take comfort in...

Thursday, June 19, 2003
3:15 p.m.
sometimes at a point in life u wish u had the answers...
not all the answers but some answers...
when that seems impossible u wish u had someone who cld show u the way...
to some i may have been this person but at the end of the day no matter how aloof or how unfazed there is no such one..
this week has been the worry week...
uptight about work stuff work stuff...
not eatin or sleepin too well either...
my coaches i respect the hell outta then put they hold no answers...
my parents they are in total control but they need answers themselves...
i cant even hold my act together what way can i render...
the pple i love n depend on too cant provide..
uncertainties insecurities helplessness fuckin gets to me..
fuckin hell...
no matter who i confide in no one can give me that sense of control...
haha i sound like a fuckin insecure woman lookin for a rich dude...

Saturday, June 14, 2003
06:17 p.m.
ended trainin early
sis at concert.
dad's abroad.
baby's at camp
"i cld tell from the minute i woke up it was goina be a lonely day.."

n i asked the man who stood by the gate of the year
"give me some light that i might tread safely into the unknown"
and he replied
"step out into the darkness and put ur hands in Gods hand
and that to u shall be better than a bright light or a known way."

Thursday, June 12, 2003
12:33 a.m.
sacrifices acceptance
love is all about completion...
u complete me..

i love the way im accepted wout complaint..
i love the way i feel at home with u...
i love the way u laugh..
i love the way u smile when i do..
i love the way my hand fits in urs...
i love the way u squeal when i hug u tight...
i love the sound u make when i squeeze u...
i love the way u close ur eyes when we kiss..
i love the way u close ur eyes when u content..
i love the way u pout..
i love the way u play hard to get..
when u pull away but i see u wanting it...
when u just lie there waiting...
i love the way we do nothing...but yet its so meaningful..
i love the way u smell..
n the way it lingers sweet...
i love the way u whine..
i love the way ur hair covers ur face...
i love the way u curl up to sleep..
i love the way u scrunch up ur nose when i lookin at u..
i love the way u act innocent when im actin pissed..
i love the way u seem to be aloof but i know u really care..
i love the way ur eyes shine...mayb its ur contacts..
but how they sparkle...
i love the way ur eye lash tickles...
i love the way u make me laugh...
i love the way u sulk when i call u a bimbo...
i love the way u are so fragile yet so strong..
i love ur intensity when we're serious..
i love the way u breathe...
i love the way ur hips sway when u walk..
i love the way u tell me that u love me....
n i love everything thats not lovable about u...

i love what we have that no one else can feel...
i love the way we can tiff about each other when we know we will still love each other..
i love knowing that i cant control u no matter how much i love u..
i love seein u so happy...
the way u giggle n bounce...
the way i never will forget..

Wednesday, June 11, 2003
08:44 a.m.
and she has loved me for mine...

Tuesday, June 10, 2003
12:12 a.m.
have u ever held someones hand and never ever wanted to let go..
has ur body ever ached for a touch...a sweet embrace..
have u ever held someone close n wished n wished n wished that it wld never pass..
have u ever felt as if ur life centred around a person n it was alright...n everything was alright..
have u for a moment felt so lost without her....

maybe i have...
n i have looked at her perfections n loved her for her imperfections..
n the days are marked by her presence n absence..
n the nights are wonderin how something so simple can be so meaningful fufilling..

n i forget the worries in life they dunt matter..
whats hurtin..just contentment just euphoria just everything..